Crossroads

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Today I took my Personal Day that our collective agreement says we can have every year.

I take May 7th every year as I have for the past 18 years to reflect and think of my child that never got to grow up in our crazy household with your five other siblings.

You would have been 19 years old today. 19, the legal drinking age here in Ontario and the age where you could vote in an election.

I went for a walk today and came to this spot … a crossroads in the trail as it were. There was a bench where I sat and looked at the crossroads thinking which path would you have taken? Would you be in college or university now? Would you have driven your siblings crazy as a youngster tagging along (or at least tying to), would you have called your sister Screacher like the others did or would you look up to her?

Would you have been quiet like Amanda was, naive like Beth, a dare devil like Lee, confident like Angela or introverted like Jeffrey? I kind of think you would have had all their great traits and yet been a self confident self starter – a leader not a follower.

I wonder how many girls would have broken your heart and how many hearts you would have broken. But alas, instead you broke mine when your father mustered all his strength to carry that little white box that became your crib to your final eternal resting place.

So many unanswered questions that I will never know the answers to. So until my last breath, I will keep you safe in that little piece of my heart where I had to tuck you into 19 years ago.

Until we meet again, always loved and always thought of.

Love Mum
xoxo

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